For a better social life, sometimes you have to take the initiative of inviting people out. But, not everyone is as smooth when it comes to inviting people out whether it’s a hangout with some new friends or going on a date.
For some people who are not used to asking someone to hang out or to date, the process can be awkward and full of anxiety. Worst of all, there isn’t any black book that outlines the best way of asking someone on a date vs. hangout.
So, it’s not shocking that people find asking people out a significant social challenge. Fortunately for you, here are some excellent tips for what to do and what not to do when it comes to learning how to ask someone to hang out.
What to Avoid Doing When Inviting People Out
Before you start to think about how to phrase your invitation, there are some things you have to know first.
1. Avoid stressing too much about what to say before inviting someone out.
Usually, when you plan on inviting someone to hang out or go on a date, you focus a lot of your effort and time in trying to come up with the perfect phrase of inviting them out. This time will also open you to a lot of anxiety and worry whether they are going to say “yes” to your invitation or decline it flat out.
Spending too much time thinking about how to phrase your invitation makes you a little desperate. Instead, try to be calm and cool. How you ask people is not as important as them liking your company.
2. Don’t ask if they are free at a specific time without telling them what your plans are.
When you are trying to ask someone out, be specific about your intention or your ideas. If you ask them if they are free to hang out at a particular date and time, give them the complete plans you are trying to make, like where you are planning to go and what you’re going to do. This way, they will be more aware of the activities if they decide to join you.
Otherwise, you will only seem evasive and too cagey, and it might even become the reason why they are hesitation in accepting your invitation.
3. How do you want to invite them?
If you are planning to ask them out, then you might want to choose the medium on how you want to send your message. Are you going to ask people out personally or through a message, or are you going to call them?
Not one method of inviting people out is better than the other. It mainly depends on your preference and what is more convenient. Whatever method you’re going to choose, make sure you are sending the invitation in a way that you’re giving them options. Don’t be too pressuring in your message. Make it sound more casual than desperate.
Now, you have some insights on what to do beforehand and how to prepare when planning on inviting people out.
Inviting a Single Person Out
It’s a lot easy to invite your BFF out. You can phrase it how you want to since you are more comfortable with each other. However, if you are to invite someone out for the first time, it can be nerve-racking and awkward.
But, if you found the courage and confidence to ask, “will you go out with me?” to someone, here are some invitation examples you can do it.
One of the ways of phrasing an invitation is to make it open-ended. In this case, you usually don’t have any existing plans or activities prepared. You just ask if they would like to hang out with you, and if they say “yes”, that’s when you hash out a concrete hang out plan.
However, it is important to follow through with the invitation as soon as they accept your invitation, like asking if they would prefer to get a coffee or watch a movie. Avoid the mistake of not clearing the plans with them and getting a yes but leaving them hanging as to what’s going to happen after.
You can give them an open-ended invitation is you are not sure what activities they would like or when they are free. In this case, you are just asking if they want your company.
Open-ended but Specific Invitation
In this case, you are presenting a more concrete plan or activity when asking someone to hang out. However, you’re leaving the invitation a little bit open about the time or date you’re going to do it.
This method of inviting people out is ideal if you are sure they are going to like the plans you’ve made, but isn’t sure when they are not busy or when they are available to do it with you.
The third method of asking someone out is sending them a specific invitation. This kind of invitation comes with a pretty solid plan. It includes where to go, what to do, and when to meet up.
If they want to hang out and likes your plans, they might say “yes.” Otherwise, they might point out the aspects that aren’t going to work for them. Perhaps, they are not keen on the skydiving activity you want to do, or they might like skydiving but are busy during the day you planned to do it.
Immediate or Spontaneous Invitation
The immediate or spontaneous invitation is asking someone if they want to hang out with you right now and without any solid plan. Asking someone out spontaneously makes it a little less anxiety-inducing compared to when you spend so much time trying to come up with the best way to invite them.
However, you should be a bit open to them saying “no” since spontaneous invitations usually don’t consider if they are free to hang out with you at the moment.
Inviting More Than One Person to Hang Out
Inviting a group or a couple of people to hang out is a lot similar to the methods you use when asking one person out. You can do it with an open-ended invitation, open-ended but specific, specific, and spontaneous invitations.
However, when it comes to inviting a group of people, there are a lot of different schedules you have to consider. They might not be free to hang out at the same time, so you need to find common ground. The problem with inviting a group to hang out isn’t really on how to ask them, but how to plan it when everyone has said “yes” but the specifics of the activity like when to hang out.
Inviting Someone to Hang Out With Your Other Friends
Another thing when trying to invite people out is when you are trying to include a new friend to hang out with your existing group of friends. It usually happens not because you need their company, but you want them to be part of your clique. Perhaps, they have the same interests as your other friends. In that case, they will be more open to go and hang out with you.
In this route, they can turn you down because of two things: they don’t like the activity you are trying to propose, or they are not comfortable about meeting a bunch of people they don’t know.
Inviting Someone Whom You Haven’t Seen in a While
In another case, maybe you have a friend you haven’t seen in a while, but you want to hang out with them and catch up. If you haven’t talked to them in a while, asking them to hang out might be a bit awkward.
Even if it’s just a few weeks since you’ve talked to each other, the anxiety of thinking if the friendship has changed makes asking them out a little nerve-racking. The easiest way you can phrase your invitation is quickly acknowledging that you haven’t spoken for some time, but you would like to catch up just like the old times.
Ask them what they have been up to lately and if they would like to catch up with you.
Tips When Inviting People Out
So, you’ve talked to someone for a bit and realize they’re cool and you like their company. You would want to hang out with them more. But, the problem is how you would invite them to hang out with you.
If you are having problems and anxiety about how to ask someone to hang out, here are some excellent tips to help you.
Start with a Good Intro
Even essays need an introduction. If you are planning to have friends hanging out in the house, or a movie, perhaps, start with a meaningful conversation. You don’t have to jump with the guns blazing. However, avoid small talk. It’s usually just a waste of time. Instead, make your intro a little interesting without overdoing it.
Perhaps, you want some advice as to the best restaurants in the area, and then you can follow up with asking them if they would like to go with you there. Or you can suggest something to them you know they want or would probably be down to do, then set a date.
Start with Small Invitations
If you are inviting people out for the first time, then you might want to gauge if they like your company. Start with small or straightforward invitations like going for coffee or lunch, and if they say “yes,” you can go from there.
Starting with small invitations will let you get comfortable with each other first before anything else. A coffee or lunch is also an excellent way for you to talk and learn about each other some more compared to when you go to the movies.
Also, if you don’t know each other very well yet, it’s more likely for them to say yes to the kind of invitations that requires little commitment. So instead of inviting them for a weekend getaway, maybe a drink would be better at the moment.
Keep an Open Mind or Dual Perspective
Not everyone is going to say “yes” to your invitation. While it’s alright to be hopeful when inviting someone out, you also have to keep an open mind. Don’t assume they are going to be down with whatever you’ve planned. Maybe what you think is fun and exciting is not fun and exciting for them.
This tip also goes with planning the activity you are inviting them into. Find out what people like and find common ground between their likes and yours. Having a dual perspective in planning the hang out will make them want to hang out more because they like what you have in mind.
Sound Casual and Relaxed
When asking someone to hang out, your tone with the invitation can influence whether they are going to say yes or no. So, don’t sound so needy or desperate. No one wants to spend time with people who can be too clingy and needy for their attention.
Instead, be casual and cool, and they will more likely going to respond more positively to your invitation. Keep it casual but confident. Also, make people feel like they have a choice and don’t pressure them too much or make it seem like it’s life or death situation.
Be Specific and Direct with Your Invitation
Another important tip when inviting people out is to be clear about the invitation. Unless it’s a surprise, you should tell them everything about the plans you are inviting them to. Don’t be vague, like asking them to hang out sometime and end it there. There’s no hang out that’s going to happen from that.
Instead, make concrete plans. Ask them if they would want to hang out with you, then ask them when they would be free and what they like to do. If you are inviting them to some plans you already have, make sure they know when and where it’s going to be.
While it might be too exciting when you get a “yes” after you asked them if they would want to hang out with you, make sure that you are going to see each other by making a solid plan.
Asking Someone Out in Person vs. Digitally
After getting some excellent tips on how to ask someone out, now is the time to choose how you want to invite them.
Asking Someone Out in Person
If you are asking them out for the first time, it can be a bit nerve-racking to do it in person. However, it might be the best option to show you’re interested in their company.
But, if you ask someone out in person, make sure you sound casual and confident. Don’t forget to smile and look in their eyes while asking them. If you get nervous, you can look away for a second, but make sure you get back to the eye contact when you give the invitation.
Asking Someone Out Through Text
While it’s okay to invite someone to hang out through text, make sure that you have had a conversation in person. You don’t want your potential friendship to revolve around texting.
But, if you are a bit awkward in person, and want to invite them through text, make the invitation exciting and playful. It helps if you are asking them into something they like to do.
Asking Someone Out Over the Phone
Another way you can invite someone to hang out is through is over the phone, a little more personal compared to texting if you are not inclined to do the invitation in person. One tip when you are asking someone out over the phone, make sure they answer your call. Don’t leave your invitation to the voicemail. Otherwise, you wouldn’t know if they are down for it or not, unless they return your call, which is another thing you aren’t sure about.
How to Ask Someone Out From an Online Dating Website or App
There are a lot of ways to meet people or friends. Perhaps, you have someone online you’ve been talking to for some time, and you want to ask them out.
When inviting people out online, you might want to focus on small invitations first, especially if it’s going to be your first time meeting them. Something low-key where you can be comfortable and have talk would be ideal. Going somewhere public will also help them give you a positive response since they don’t know you that much yet. By going with this route, you are not pressuring them too much, making them more likely to confirm the date.
Don’t forget to send them your phone number along with the plans of when and where to meet, so they can easily contact you just in case.
There is no exact rule when asking someone on a date vs. hangout. But, these tips and tricks should be able to help you prepare and piece your invitation together in a way that, when inviting people out, they are more likely to say “yes” to your invitation.